Be My Otter?
by AnnabellStarRose
Summary: Tony finds Bruce's plans to commit suicide. Only this time Bruce has all the things he needs to do it...and succeed. Tony has four months to change the doctors mind before its too late. Will Tony be able to save Bruce from himself? Or will Bruce finally end it all? * rated M for Tony's bad mouth and future Tony/Bruce slash. ; enjoy. i own nothing.
1. Chp1 The plans

"Hello Banner." Tony greeted as Bruce walked into the lab they shared, although Bruce would never admit possession of it. Bruce was slightly surprised by Tony's tone of voice. There was no teasing, no arrogance, he sounded almost…shy. But that was impossible Tony Stark was the complete opposite of shy. Everything he did screamed confidence, like he was sure of every move he made, ever word he said.

"Stark." Bruce nodded as he walked toward his desk, like he's done almost every day for 3 months now.

He moved in shortly after the building was restored, although he was very grateful to Tony for allowing him to stay, he still wondered if the billionaire would soon tire of him and kick him out. Bruce sat down at his desk and was struck by a sudden thought. Would he be able to handle leaving if Tony kicked him out? Bruce had become so used to working side by side with him, staying up for days at a time working on some new project, bringing him coffee when he was _this close _to finding out the answer to his latest equation. Could Bruce really just leave all that behind and go back to some third world country? Forget Tony and the other avengers, forget what it was like to live normally again? He finally owned more than a tooth brush and enough clothes to get him through a week. His research, this technology, there was no way he could continue any of this if he was kicked out. Bruce was pulled from his thoughts when Tony spoke.

"You know what I don't understand?" he said suddenly, his voice quite but harsh. Bruce looked up from the piles of papers he was sorting through. Tony was sitting in an office chair, elbows on his knees leaning forward with his face turned toward the ground studying an object in his hands.

"_you_ don't understand something? I'm shocked." Bruce said with a faint teasing tone, but one look from Tony made Bruce flinch. He was in no joking mood. "I'm sorry." He apologized.

"I don't understand trust." Tony said the word with such disgust you think he would be talking about something worse than a mere word. "Can you define it for me Doctor?" Tony asked closely examining what Bruce now saw was a screw driver in his hand. Bruce looked around slightly confused before answering his friend.

"Trust: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, or surety of a person or thing, confidence, hope, to rely on somebody or something, et cetera." Bruce explained but didn't notice how with each word Tony's grip tightened on the handle of the tool.

"No! Bruce, I don't want a god damn dictionary definition! I want the Bruce Banner definition." Tony demanded, raising his head to look at Bruce. His eyes were dark and full of smoldering anger. Banner thought a moment before finally answering him.

"trust is not being afraid." He said and it took Tony a moment to realize just what he meant. People never trusted Bruce because they were always afraid of him, so for him trust and fear went hand in hand. To trust someone meant to not be afraid of them.

"You know I don't fear you right?" Tony asked and you could hear the restrained anger in his voice, the pain he was desperately trying to hold back. His head dropped back down.

Bruce thought back to the first time they met. Tony had zapped him, poked and even threw things at him. He had never tip-toed around him; from the first moment they met till now Tony had never really been afraid.

"Yeah," Bruce said with a soft chuckle, "but I'm not sure if that makes your brave or completely crazy."

"So you trust me?" Tony said, completely ignoring Bruce's comment. There was an uncharacteristic seriousness in his voice. Giving up all attempts to lighten the mood Banner leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, almost hugging himself.

"yes." He said whispered.

"What?" Tony demanded.

"yes, Tony, I trust you." Bruce said louder, more sure of his answer. The billionaire's shoulders shook with anger.

"then _why_ damn it? _WHY?_" He yelled, suddenly standing up and hurling the screw driver across the lab. It hit the opposite wall, the handle shattering. Bruce nearly fell out of his seat, his heart rate jumping up as Tony's angry, light brown eyes bored into his own darker brown.

"Wha-what are you-" Bruce stammered trying to understand what Tony was so outraged about.

"I found it Bruce, I found your little notes. Your _plans._" Tony spat, pulling up a glowing blue screen between the two of them. On it was all of Bruce's old notes on the Hulk, all his old researched. And new notes, scribbled on it, crossing things out where he had made mistakes, adding things he figured out. And at the very bottom, was a date; a date exactly 4 months from now. The date Bruce Banner had decided was going to be his last day here on this earth.


	2. Chapter 2

"You what?" Bruce exclaimed, standing up and moving in front of the glowing blue screen like he could somehow block Tony's view of it, somehow erase what Tony had seen.

"I hacked into your notes, there I admit it!" Tony yelled back, crossing his arms as he glared at Bruce. So much hurt shone in those caramel colored eyes that Bruce was almost surprised Tony could care so much. Almost.

"Why? Those were MY notes!" Bruce tried to defend himself, but as soon as the words left his mouth he felt guilty. He had no right to say that, especially after he had just used his best friend's-hell his ONLY friend's equipment to research his own death.

"This is MY house." Tony snapped back and Bruce became silent, because he knew Tony was right. He had been selfish and wrong, and the guilt was starting to get to him. Tony took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "look Bruce I'm sorry I snapped…but what the hell man?" Tony said, his tone softer now. "I was glad when you told me you were no longer looking for a cure…but I didn't think that meant you would start looking for…" he trailed off, unable to bring himself to say it. But Bruce heard the unspoken words and he flinched.

"Tony," he said and the sincerity in his voice was so raw it even surprised him, "I am so, so very sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't even mean to start this up again, it happened by accident. But once I started I just, I couldn't stop." He admitted, bowing his head in shame.

Pepper chose that moment to walk through the door to their lab. She looked as guilty as Banner felt. Behind her walked in Steve. "Tony." She said slowly, carefully, unable to hold eye contact. "there is something we need to talk about." Tony took one look between them and let out a yell that would give the hulk a run for his money. He could have been a complete idiot and still see what was about to happen here. _Pepper and Steve?_ He thought furiously, _Could this night get any worse?_ Tony glanced back at Bruce one last time before following Pepper and Steve out of the room, Bruce kept his eyes locked on the floor until he heard the click of the door closing behind them. Then he collapsed back into his chair and sobbed. He cried like a child before pulling himself together and figuring out what he had to do.

Tony made it half way through listening to Pepper talk and apologize, while glaring at the Captain-who was trying his damndest to ignore Tony, before he couldn't take it anymore.

"you want this out-of-date freak? Fine, have him. Fuck if I care! As long as you run this company I don't care if you sleep with every god damn worker in this fucking building!" Tony yelled before storming out of the room. He didn't mean what he said; he just wanted his words to hurt her as much as she had just hurt him. He was Tony Stark for Christ sake! Tony Stark didn't get dumped, he did the dumping! _Not this time_, his mind whispered to him as he stomped his way to his personal bar. By the time the sun rose the next morning half of his personal collection of scotch was gone and he was passed out on the floor covered in his own vomit and precious booze.

xXx

The next morning Tony woke with a skull-splitting headache. He glanced at the clock through silted eyes that were still red from his drunken tears. 10:30 am. Tony stood, trying to figure out just how many hours he had slept. But his head was pounding and apparently in no mood for math problems. It was only on the way to his room did he realize he had forgotten one very important thing last night. Bruce. Cursing he quickly made his way to the lab, expecting to find the doctor asleep at his desk. It wouldn't have been the first he found him there, quietly snoring, pen still in hand. But to Tony's disappointment the lab was empty.

"JARVIS!" he snapped, and the AI greeted him.

"Is Bruce in his room?"

"No, sir."

"then where the fuck is he?" Tony demanded and took a second to take a deep breath.

"By now I would assume he is somewhere in India." The AI responded.

"INDIA?" Tony started to pace. Why the fuck-no _how_ the fuck did Bruce go to India? Was it because of his outburst last night; because Tony had caught him planning his next suicide attempt? _Would he succeed this time?_ Tony thought, he hadn't read all the notes. He was being nosey and was wondering what Banner had been working so hard on when he came across them. The files had a password on them, and Tony was a bit surprised when he finally did hack into them to find the password to be his name. It took him all of three seconds to skim through them and he instantly knew what it was about. And then he saw the date. March 25, was the day Bruce planned to take his life, and Tony knew he had until then to do everything in his power to stop him. But first he needed to know how he planned to do it.

"JARVIS, pull up the notes Bruce and I were looking at last night." Tony ordered.

"I'm sorry sir, but Doctor Banner had me delete them last night." The AI responded, not sounding a bit sorry about it. Tony cursed under his breath. Why didn't he read through them when he had the chance?

"How long do you think it would take to get to India?" he asked, eyeing the iron man suit standing on display on the other side of the lab.

" 8 hours at the most, but I recommend a shower first, sir." JARVIS said and Tony looked down at himself.

"fuck im a mess…" he murmured, just now noticing the stains on his wrinkled shirt and jeans.


	3. Chapter 3

*A/N: ** Just wanna say a quick thank you to all of you wonderful people reading my story lol I'm still kinda new to the whole posting thing so sorry if it takes awhile. Ha-ha. Well anyway here is chapter three. Hope you like it **

**Disclaimer: I (sadly) do not own the characters…although I really wish I did 3**

It had been three days now since he had left Stark Towers. Three days, twelve cups of crappy coffee, eight hours of sleep, and 24 people cured of deadly diseases. Needless to say Bruce Banner was feeling pretty good about himself. He was kneeling next to a child, gently talking to her as he injected the medicine into her arm. It was just a simple shot, but like any child she was terrified.

"Don't worry it won't hurt a bit." Bruce said gently. The small girl looked up at him with wide, almost black eyes, and he saw complete and utter trust in them. _Trust,_ Bruce thought, remembering what Tony had said about it. _I don't understand it. Can you define it for me Doctor?_

Bruce shook his head slightly, trying to get that arrogant voice out of his head, as he placed a band-aid over the small drop of blood forming on the young girls arm.

"There, all done." He smiled sweetly at her, and after a moment she returned the grin. The girl looked past him and suddenly her eyes widened in fright. Bruce spun around in time to see a fully suited Iron Man step into the tent.

"Where do you want me, Doctor?" the slightly robotic voice of the suit said, but Bruce could still hear the smirk in Tony's voice. Bruce just gaped as Tony plopped down onto one of the empty cots, which broke under the weight of the suit. "Uh...i'll pay for that."

"Tony?" Bruce exclaimed, holding a hand over his heart which was hammering in his chest from the mix of surprise and shock.

"Don't look so surprised, you really think I would let you just walk right out of my house like that," Tony said, flipping up the mask to the suit before saying in a softer tone, "right out of my life?" Bruce took a deep breath before glancing around at all the surprised and scared faces.

"Let's talk outside. Your scaring my patients." Bruce said, walking out of the tent as Tony rose to follow.

Once outside Bruce led him away from the village. Tony's mind was spinning, was Bruce angry? He didn't look angry, just really surprised. Since Bruce didn't instruct the AI to keep his location a secret from Tony that meant he wanted to be found…right? Tony tried to convince himself as he followed the shorter man away from the tent. He wondered if maybe Bruce didn't really want to come back and he was about to make a huge fool of himself. But given the events of the past few days he wouldn't be too surprised if Bruce denied him. Bruce suddenly stopped and turned toward him.

"Why...how did you find me?" Bruce asked obviously flustered. Tony smirked triumphantly.

"It wasn't easy; do you know how many suffering little villages there are around here?" Tony asked and Bruce gave him a look that said this was no joking matter. "Sorry, but look how I found you isn't important. I want you to come back Bruce." Tony said. He was going out on a limb here, opening himself up to him ever so slightly, and telling him his wants.

"Tony I can't come back. Not after what I did...i just…I can't. I feel horrible, you trusted me enough to share your lab; and last I checked Tony Stark doesn't share well. I'm sorry but I-Tony? Are you even listening?" Bruce suddenly snapped. Tony flicked some dirt off the arm of his suit and looked back up at Banner.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I was explaining why I can't go back with you." Bruce said, looking somewhat hurt.

"Really?" Tony snorted. "Weird. All I heard was some lame ass excuses. Seriously, Banner you're going to need to try harder than that." he crossed his arms over his machine covered chest. Bruce blinked at him slowly and his brow creased in confusion.

"Why are you so stubborn?" he snapped suddenly. Golden brown eyes studied him carefully for a moment before Tony said something that had the doctor's jaw on the ground.

"Bruce, will you _please,_ come back?" There was a slight uncharacteristic plea to his voice.

"What was that?" Bruce asked in surprise.

"I said please!" Tony pouted. A shaky laugh escaped the doctor's lips.

"I didn't even know that word existed in your vocabulary."

"Yep, I learned it just for you." Tony said with his naturally arrogant and playful voice, the slight begging that was there a moment ago had vanished. "Now are you coming back or not?"

Bruce thought for a moment. He remembered asking himself if he would ever be able to leave that life behind. Leave his work; leave the lab, the avengers…Tony. In three short days he quickly realized that leaving all that behind was a lot harder then he remembered. He had finally had the start of a, somewhat, normal life. Did he really expect himself to just give all that up again so easily? Yes, he answered his unspoken question; yes he had to give all that up. He had to disappear off the map again, because in four months none of this would matter anymore. He couldn't look at Tony, couldn't go back to working side by side with him, not after how he used him. He ran a hand through his unruly hair; a voice in the back of his mind reminded him he really needed a shower. Bruce looked down at himself suddenly self conscious, and realized he probably looked much worse than usual.

"Thank you for the offer, but I'm not going back." Bruce answered him at last. Tony laughed, patting the shorter man on his shoulder. "What's so funny?" he asked skeptically.

"You thought this was an offer." Tony chuckled again, "No, Banner this wasn't an offer."

"It wasn't?" he raised an eye brow, a sudden feeling of dread rising in his stomach.


	4. Chapter 4

***A/N: chapter four, here we go! Ha-ha thanks again for reading. You guys have no idea how much your comments mean to me; really, it brightens my day every time I get one. So thank you, thank you, and thank you! Hope ya'll are ready for a Hulk scene! And the chapters are going to be getting a little longer from here on out so enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...don't sue me…please, all I have is sunflower seeds and my imagination. **

"Nope that was me asking nicely, you know common courtesy." Tony said with a devious smirk on his face before flipping the helmet back down and grabbing Bruce by the waist.

"Stark! Hey- whoa- wait- What do you think your doing?" Bruce yelled as Tony picked him up and tossed him over his shoulder. He tried pushing away from Tony's grip but his efforts proved pointless. He was Iron Man after all. The Hulk gave a confused yell inside Banner's head and he took a deep breath to calm himself. _Don't worry Big Guy…he's not hurting me…no need to come out. _That seemed to calm the beast for now, but he knew if Tony didn't put him down soon things were going to go from bad, to worse very quickly.

"Hey, we haven't even left the ground yet, open your eyes." Tony laughed and Bruce realized two things. One: he had closed his eyes when trying to calm the Hulk, and two: Tony had switched his position so he was now being held in Tony's arms, bridal style. His heart rate was slowly rising from having Tony come after him, being in his presence again, and now he was being carried in the arms of a fully suited Iron Man back to Stark Towers, against his will. "Hang on, Big Guy, things are about to get windy." Tony said, and Bruce swore he could see the smirk on the suit's robotic mask.

"Stark, I swear to God-"Bruce started with a trembling voice, making the threat less of a threat and more of a plea. But he was cut off when they blasted off from the ground. Bruce's arms instinctively went around Iron Man's metal shoulders and he turned his face toward Tony, away from the wind that was making his eyes water. After a few minutes of simply flying, JARVIS spoke.

"Sir?" the AI's voice said into Tony's ear.

"Yes?" Tony asked looking at the numbers JARVIS was pulling up for him. Bruce looked up at the sound of Tony's voice.

"Doctor Banner's heart rate is getting dangerously high, chances of transformation are past the twenties and slowly rising." He warned. Tony cursed.

Slowing his speed ever so slightly, he flipped up the mask to come eye to eye with a none-too-happy Bruce. "Hey there Brucey, how ya holding up?" he asked as gently as he could, having to yell slightly over the wind.

"Another nickname? I'm flattered." He said through clenched teeth, as he glared at Tony. He tried to keep his tone even despite having the Other Guy screaming in his head.

"40% Sir." JARVIS cut in, and this time Bruce heard.

"You're monitoring me?" he asked, the question coming out more harshly then intended. But Tony seemed unfazed.

"Yeah I added it after the fight with Loki. As long as your within five miles of me I can monitor your heart rate." He explained.

Bruce looked up at him with confused dark brown eyes, but Tony kept looking forward. _Why_, he wondered, _why would he do that? Is it because he is so interested in the Hulk? Or could it be because…could it be he actually cares?_ The idea of having Tony care so much he would alter his precious suit to be able to keep an eye on him made his heart speed up, which was the last thing he needed at the moment. _Why would he care so much about a monster like me?_ Bruce wondered.

"49%" the AI warned.

"Aww did I embarrass you Doctor?" Tony teased, but inside he was becoming worried. Bruce was shaking in his arms, and if the percentage kept rising at this rate he would Hulk Out before they even made it back to New York.

"Don't flatter yourself, Stark; I'm just not used to flying." Which wasn't a total lie, his fear of heights was only half the reason his heart rate was rising. The other reason was looking down at him with smiling caramel eyes. Bruce met his gaze and instantly saw them become darker, colder. Tony could see shimmers of green within the dark depths of his friend's eyes; it was growing slowly, swallowing up the brown. Bruce mistook the look for something like sudden regret. _Maybe I'm too heavy for him, maybe he doesn't want me there as much as he thought he did, maybe he is wishing he never found me, maybe he wants to just drop me._ Bruce's mind went into over drive, all these sudden doubts clouding his thoughts.

"62%, sir. "

"Are you going to be alright?" Tony asked, "I mean, I'm all for you Hulking Out, but not while I'm carrying you over an ocean going almost 400 miles-an-hour." Bruce just shut his eyes and placed his head against the cold metal of the suit. _You shouldn't have come after me, _was all he could think.

xXx

Tony set the slightly green doctor down as JARVIS started to remove the suit. Banner started walking away; he was still pretty shaken up from the flight.

"Bruce?" Tony called after him, "just where do you think you're going? We have a lot to talk about." He said sternly, determined not to let the doctor out of his sight. He just got him back, he wasn't about to let him go again.

"Well," Bruce said, his voice strained, "if I stay you won't be talking to me, you'll be talking to the Other Guy." He warned. Tony nodded slowly.

"Green Room?" he asked, flinching slightly as JARVIS yanked a piece of machinery from his body.

"Give me twenty minutes?" Bruce half asked, half pleaded. And Tony nodded, watching as Bruce practically ran off toward the green room.

Twenty minutes later Tony entered the Green Room and was almost hit with a chair.

"Hey there, buddy, haven't seen you for awhile." He said calmly as the Hulk paused in his rampage, a broken desk in his huge green hands. His breathing was heavy and ragged, his big green chest rising and falling quickly. Tony would never admit it, not even to himself, but deep down inside he was slightly intimidated by the big green rage monster. The Hulk let out a low growl and took a thundering step toward Tony.

Hulk didn't know why Bruce was so flustered or why he didn't want to come back. All he knew was that when Bruce was confused, so was he. _I hurt tiny man?_ He asked Bruce, but didn't realize he had spoken out loud until Tony's eyes widened. _No! Don't hurt him!_ Banner yelled.

"Uh hey, Bruce, I think it's time for you to come back." Tony said uneasily.

"But tiny man upset Bruce." Hulk reasoned. _No!_

"Whoa! Wait, when did I upset him? What did I do? _He_ was the one who upset me. _He_ was the one trying to kill himself!" Tony snapped. Hulk took a deep breath and slowly he began to shrink. His skin became less green, and his eyes dimming into the dark pools of brown that were so familiar to Tony. His clothes where shredded, his shirt practically falling off him in strips of ruined fabric.

"Don't be nice to me… I can't give you anything in return so I'm begging you. Don't be nice to me." Bruce said, collapsing into himself. Tony caught him and helped him onto the ground gently.

"Banner, I don't think you get it. We are friends. _Friends!_ Do you need the dictionary definition for that? Cause I'll be more than happy to look it up for you." Tony said, annoyed because for whatever reason Bruce couldn't seem to get that through his thick head.

"First the word please, and now your memorizing the definition of friends?" Bruce gave a shaky laugh, "you're losing your edge Stark."

"Okay so maybe I didn't memorize it, but I can give you my definition." Tony said and Bruce raised an eye brow at him, waiting to hear the Tony Stark definition of friendship. "It means I care, Bruce, it means I get to be nice to you all I want and there isn't shit you can do about it. And you don't have to give me something in return. But if you could be nice back, that'd be great." He said with an arrogant smirk and a chuckle. Bruce just shook his head, looking down at his ruined pair of pants.

"You shouldn't have brought me back." Tony ignored the comment.

"You know, I was kind of surprised to find you…" Tony paused, sitting criss-cross next to Bruce and leaning back on his hands, "alive." He said, trying to be nonchalant about it. But Bruce could hear the relief in his voice, and that made his stomach twist with guilt. What if Tony would have found him dead? Would he have been upset?

"Yeah, well I don't have all the things I need yet. You kind of caught me before I could finish." Bruce said, giving Tony a side glance. He shrugged in return.

"That's a good thing, right?"

"Depends who you're talking to." Bruce said softly. So much self loathing, Tony thought to himself, his self esteem sucks no wonder he is trying to kill himself. He hates himself and therefore thinks everyone else does too.

"You hungry? I'm hungry, and if I'm hungry you must be hungry too." Tony said suddenly jumping up. Bruce looked startled, like he was pulled out of deep thought.

"Uh...sure?"

"You go shower and put on some clothes that aren't shredded, and then meet me in the kitchen." Tony ordered walking out if the Green Room as Bruce stared in confusion.

xXx

The warm water pounded on his back, washing away day's worth of dirt and grime. He allowed it to put him into a trance as he closed his eyes, facing the cascading water. March 25th. It seemed to be too far away and too close at the same time. He knew he would have all the parts but would he be able to get out of here again? Tony seemed set on keeping him here. But why? Didn't he know the longer he was around him the worse he was going to get hurt? Why did he have to be so damn stubborn! Why couldn't he just accept his choices? Accept that he wanted to end his life, that in four months his life _would_ be ended. Was he really so wrong to be doing this? Ridding the world of the Hulk seemed to be the right thing to do, and so what if it lost one of its greatest minds in the process. People were born every day; surely there would be someone to take his place? Besides, he wouldn't live forever so what if he ended things a few decades early? He remembered the shocked faces of his teammates when he told them about swallowing the bullet awhile back. He remembered thinking if maybe he was the only one who didn't see anything wrong with killing himself. Hell he still thought that. "Am I really the only one who sees that I'm doing the world a favor?" he asked himself as he shut off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist.

Bruce entered the kitchen and immediately covered his mouth and nose with his hand.

"What did you burn?" he asked as he watched Tony fanning the stove as clouds of black smoke rose from the open oven. He was holding a towel over his face and glaring at the burning oven in disapproval.

"I was _trying_ to make lasagna." He pouted; pulling out a completely black pan with what Bruce guessed was the charred remains of their so-called dinner.

"What are those?" Bruce said, poking what looked to be a burned Gomito noodle.

"Gomito noodles." He said simply, "I couldn't find any lasagna noodles."

"And these?" Bruce was digging around in the dinner disaster Tony made.

"apples." He shrugged; Bruce gave him a horrified look. "What? I couldn't find any tomatoes. And they are both red, both a fruit, so what's the difference?"

"Umm. One goes in lasagna and the other most definitely does not." Bruce explained, helping Tony clean up the mess.

Once the mess was cleaned up and Bruce had cooked up something more edible, they sat across the table from each other, picking at their food. The ambiance had shifted and suddenly neither of them was very hungry.

"Can you pass me the pepper?" Tony asked and immediately flinched. Bruce took the opportunity to turn the conversation onto him.

"Speaking of, how are things with Pepper?" he asked, passing the seasoning across the table. Tony shoved a forkful of food into his mouth to avoid answering, and Bruce raised an amused eyebrow.

"Really? Like I haven't seen you talk with your mouth full before. You forget I've spent four days straight with you before."

"Who? Me?" Tony said around the mouthful of food. Bruce snorted. "And you know those were the best four days of your life." He said with a wink.

"So?" Bruce pressed when Tony had finished his mouthful of food. He sighed, becoming more serious.

"She's with Steve. She still comes to work and stuff, but she moved out yesterday." Tony explained.

"Are you okay? I know you didn't like Steve to begin with." Bruce said. Tony shrugged.

"Honestly that relationship has been dying for awhile now. She just picked a really bad time to end it, and a really bad person to end it with." Tony explained, and Bruce nodded understandingly.

"So…" Tony started slowly. Bruce knew where this was going, and didn't like it one bit.

"No, don't even start that." he said, standing to take his plate to the sink.

"Come on," Tony sighed becoming aggravated. "You really expect me to just drop this?"

"Yes!" Banner said accidently slamming his plate down into the sink, "I do. I told you I didn't want to come back, but no, you forced me back here." Tony stood swiftly.

"You mean you really didn't want to come back? Not in the slightest?" Tony demanded. Bruce kept his back turned to him. He couldn't answer, cause if he said no he'd be lying, and if he answered honestly he would just be proving the billionaire right. Tony continued yelling at the back of Banner's head. "You thought you could just run away and hide until the date to off yourself? You think we would really let that happen? Your part of the Avengers now Bruce, meaning we care about you and we aren't about to let you make a stupid ass mistake like this!"

"A mistake…" Bruce repeated softly, and he sounded completely calm however Tony couldn't see the green eating away at his eyes. "No, Tony the mistake was what happened to me. Creating the Hulk was the mistake!"

"Bruce you know as well as I do that was an accident!" Tony yelled.

"Your making it sound harmless, like it was an honest mistake." Bruce yelled back, hating how okay Tony was making it sound, and how he was almost coming to accept that maybe, _just maybe_, this wasn't _all_ his fault.

"Because it was!" Tony huffed throwing his arms into the air.

"Then why won't you allow me to fix it, to right my wrongs?" Banner demanded.

"Because you plan to do that by KILLING YOUR SELF!" Tony yelled trying to make him see how irrational he was being.

"Do you know any other way?" Bruce turned around abruptly, acid-like green eyes staring Tony down. "I'm a murderer Tony, that's punishable by death in many places."

"Not when you have the DoD on your side." Tony argued, but that only pissed him off more, reminding him that he was working for them, that he didn't really have a choice, because thanks to them he wasn't in some lab somewhere being tested on.

"Just tell me_ why_." Tony demanded, "I mean really, you have all the toys you could play with, you live in _STARK TOWERS_, you get three meals a day, a room to stay in with a bed, closet, and bathroom, unlimited cash to go buy clothes and whatever you need, _and_ you get to work side by side with me every day. What more could you possibly WANT?" he huffed. Bruce was silent; his green eyes staring Tony down like a tiger would its prey. When he spoke his tone was low and harsh, each word like a slap in the face.

"To not be angry all the time, Tony I don't think you understand this kind of anger. This isn't just anger, its hate. A hate that goes deeper than your soul, a hate that is bone deep, bone-fucking-deep! That is a feeling you cannot rid yourself of, it's _always there_, always apart of you. Growing as you grow, getting stronger as you do. .There. And you know what? Maybe I would like to be able to feel another person touch again without worrying if I'm going to Hulk Out and kill them. Maybe I want to love another person. And _just maybe_ I would like to be loved back instead of feared or hated." Bruce said, trying to calm his anger, along with his heart rate. Hulking out twice in one day is never a good idea.

"Just because you hate yourself doesn't mean everyone else does too." Tony said his voice so soft Bruce thought for a second he was hearing things. He couldn't stand the look Tony was giving him, those bright eyes staring into his, all that emotion, all the truth in his eyes was starting to get to him.

"I need to mediate." Banner grumbled before storming off in search of a quiet place to relax. The Green Room was still being repaired, and his room was out of the question, it would just make him feel worse. So he set off looking for a place to meditate, still feeling Starks eyes on him until he turned the corner.

***well that's chapter four. Ha-ha lots of stuff happened here. But it can only get better right? Hmmm guess you'll have to wait and find out. Please review! And thanks again for reading! You people are wonderful!**


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